Shame
by edward is my homeboy
Summary: bella and her two siblings, jasper and rosalie, are abused by charlie. bella feels too ashamed to tell her boyfriend, edward about it. can edward find the truth before it's too late? all human!
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys

**Hey guys! Just to clear things up here is a guide to the characters.**

**Rosalie is Bella's older sister**

**Jasper is Bella's older brother and Alice's BF**

**Alice is Bella's best friend**

**Edward is Bella's BF**

**Emmet is Bella's best guy friend, and Rosalie's BF**

**Charlie is Bella's a-hole dad**

**Renee is Bella's mom but she's dead**

**Esme and Carlisle are Edward Emmet and Alice's parents**

I glanced at Rosalie over the breakfast table; her head was hung down in shame. Her hair formed a blonde curtain over her face, which was bruised and bleeding.

I glanced at jasper only to find him with his ipod headphones in his ears, completely lost in the music. I kicked him to get his attention. He looked up slowly and glared at me, I just nodded in Rosalie's direction. I watched jasper face turn to horror as he took in the cuts and bruises that covered our sister's face.

"Rose, I-" I threw him a look, knowing that when Rosalie was in this type of mood she shouldn't be bothered.

"Don't. Please, don't. Don't look at me like that! Bella, you of all people shouldn't pity _me_ it's so much worse for you."

I flinched, Rosalie was right. She and jasper had both inherited my father's looks, tall, blond hair, blue eyes, and thin figure. My father was quite handsome when he was young, and both Rosalie and jasper were gorgeous. I took after my mother; brown hair, green eyes** (A/N: I just couldn't make her eyes brown, and green eyes stick out so much, they're noticeable) **I was short, with a heart shaped face, in other words, I looked exactly like my mother did.

My father hated this; every time he saw me he would accuse me of trying to look like my mother just to cause him pain. Sometimes he'd hit me, some times he'd yell and throw a tantrum, sometimes he'd find the closest thing he could and hurt me with it, sometimes- I winced, I would _not_ think about _that_.

Once, I'd tried to die my hair black and wear brown contacts. My father then said I was trying to take the last thing he had that looked like my mother away from him. That night he broke 3 of my ribs, and I realized, I could never win.

Every time father lost control and hurt me; I'd slip into my room once I could move again. Jasper would be sitting on my bed, he'd hold me, and I'd cry. He just held me until I'd gotten all my tears out, and then he'd say, "You're the belle of the world". I remembered those same words coming from very different lips; my mother would say this, a play on my name.

I was brought out of my thoughts by Rosalie; "you don't think anyone will notice to much, will they?" she asked. I had plenty of practice with covering bruises with makeup, but there was one gash in the middle of her face that couldn't be covered.

"I can cover most of it, but this one-" I paused, pointing to the gash in the center of her forehead. "- this one I can't cover. You'll have to say you walked into a pole or something." the clumsiness of the swan family was famous throughout Forks. We'd all been clumsy in the early years, but later the clumsiness became nothing more than a part of the sharade we kept up. Usually I was the only one who needed excuses as I took most of the blows. Last night was one of the rare times he'd lost control and hit Rosalie.

"Ugh, I guess I'll have to". She sighed, "Bells are _you_ okay? Father was pretty mad last night. Did you get hurt? Did he…"

Now, it was my turn to hang my head in shame: "I've got a few bruises on my stomach and back, but otherwise I'm fine". I down casted the pain I was in, hoping she wouldn't remember her second question.

"_Bella_" Rosalie said, "did he… well…" she let her voice trail off in a question.

I knew what she meant, did he… violate me? Rape me? "Yeah rose." I said quietly "he did."


	2. Chapter 2

We piled into the truck and drove to school in silence

**Just to clairify; this story is ALL HUMAN. Can you guys do me a favour? I'm not gonna make you review, but the word UPDATE doesn't help me as much as I could. I want your thoughts, and ideas, and you're criticism. You can flame if you want to, just say something other than update. Most helpful review gets a chapter dedication.**

**P.S. im a GIRL don't send me PM's saying you never met a guy who was so sensitive, no offense if you do, but I just don't roll that way.**

We piled into the truck and drove to school in silence. "Bye" we muttered to each other when we arrived. Jasper ran off, no doubt to find Alice. Rose walked over to the bench where she met Emmet every day, muttering something about him being late again. As soon as I stepped out of the car I was swept into the arms of Edward.

"How was your night?" he asked in his lovely, warm, soft, velvet voice.

"Fine" I lied. It was the same answer I always gave when someone asked "how are you?" "Are you ok?" or "how's your father?" fine. Fine. _Fine. _It was an autopilot, a safe answer, the biggest lie of any. _Fine? _We were not _fine. _We were horrible, depressed, pained. Any adjective was better than _fine._

Edward sensed my lie; "hey. Chin up." He gave me a chaste kiss on the lips. Edward put his hand on my waist, I gasped, and he had inadvertently put his hand on one of the gashes left from the previous night.

"Are you okay?" he asked sounding alarmed.

I stared at the floor; "fine." I whispered.

"Are you sure?" he questioned.

"_Yes._ Just leave it alone." I was angry, why couldn't he just let it be? I didn't want him to know the shame I faced when I went home every night.

"Okay." Edward raised his hands in surrender.

"It's Wednesday, what do we have first?" I asked. Since Edward and I were both straight A students, we took all AP courses. Because there was only 1 AP class per course, and they were each at different times, Edward and I had every class together.

"Biology" Edward replied somewhat coldly. Did I offend him with my earlier anger? I hoped not, if Edward were mad at me my life would be total hell. Edward and I set off to science, hand in hand.

Biology dragged by, I didn't listen, I only wondered about weather or not Edward was mad at me. By the end of class I'd decided to apologize and hope that he'd never been angry in the first place. I promised myself that I'd never take out my anger at Charlie on Edward.

The bell rang and through the sound of chairs being pushed back and papers being gathered I could hear the teacher yelling "don't forget: I want five pages on the reproductive system of a glowworm."

_Joy._ How was I going to do five pages on the reproductive system of a glowworm? Edward walked up to me, interrupting my sulking.

"Edward?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes Bella?" he turned to look at me intensely, "what's wrong?"

I hesitated; "look, Edward. I'm really sorry about snapping at you earlier. It's just that--"

"Bells, relax." He interrupted, "I'm not mad at you."

"You're not? Really?" I asked, my voice weak with relief.

"No, I'm not. How could I possibly be mad at you when I love you this much?"

I smiled, "I love you too."

"Bells, we're going to be late for calc."

"Right" I sighed, "let's go."


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, and soon it was time for me to say goodbye to Edward and meet my siblings by our truc

**This is the longest chapter, I hope your greatful. Chapter dedication goes to… addict.to.reading for most helpful review check out her story celebrity crushes!!**

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, and soon it was time for me to say goodbye to Edward and meet my siblings by our truck. We watched mournfully as the Cullen family pulled away in Edward's shiny Volvo.

Rosalie got in the car first; she sat in the driver's seat. Then jasper climbed into the back, and scooted all the way over. I reached up, to grab the roof of the car for balance and support. As I did, the bottom of my shirt crept up to just above my hip, revealing a gash and several hand shaped bruises from the previous night. "Bella" jasper gasped.

I realized what he'd seen; "jazz, I--"

"No, Bells" he sounded angry; "What ever happened to 'a few bruises'? Bella, he could kill you."

"Jasper, you're making a scene." I hissed. I closed the car door. "I'm fine, alright?"

Jasper's eyes narrowed; "Bella, lift up your shirt." I shook my head. "_Bella"_

I lifted up my shirt, revealing my stomach and ribs and the gashes and bruises that covered them. Rosalie gasped and began to cry. _Shit _I thought _I didn't realize she was watching. _Jasper looked at me in horror I read concern and love in his features. "How did he do this?" jasper asked.

I put my head down, "with—with a—a knife." _I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry._

"Yeah Bells," jasper whispered harshly. "You're just fine."

I was shocked; jasper had never spoken to me like that before. As I was absorbing this we arrived at home. There was a broken beer bottle on the pathway to the house. Shit, this meant Charlie was drunk again.

"Guys, go in quietly and head straight for your rooms." I said, because ever since mom died, I had become a motherly figure in the eyes of Rosalie and jasper. I knew that they would obey me; I also knew that tonight would not be pleasant for any of us, especially me.

We glumly traveled out of the car, down the pathway, up the stairs, into our house, and bolted to the stairs. Rosalie and jasper made it up in time, but I didn't. I was on the top step while they were at the doors to their rooms.

"_Isabella!_" Father yelled anger flooding his voice.

Terror seeped through me, "yes father?" I managed to squeak.

"First you come in late from school, and then you stomp in as loudly as you can just to wake me up. You have no respect where it's due."

"Father, I didn't mean to be loud, honest, I didn't!"

"Now you talk back to me?" Charlie voice rose till the end of his sentence. He raised his hand; I flinched, knowing what was coming. He slapped me with such force that I fell back, and down the stairs, hitting every one of my cuts and bruises from the night before and (I'm sure) causing a few new scrapes and bruises.

Then he got a shit-eating grin on his face, it sent shivers down my spine. I knew from prior experience that this meant the pain was about to get much worse. Charlie stepped in front of me, still smiling sickly, my arms were sprawled out in front of me. My right arm was only inches away from his foot. He put his foot on my wrist, firmly enough that I couldn't move my arm away, and letting me know his intentions. I cringed in anticipation; Charlie put his other foot on my forearm and jumped.

A sickening crack filled the room, and I couldn't help it, I screamed in agony. I tried to curl into a ball, putting my knees up to my shoulders, but once father saw what I was trying to do he kicked me in the stomach. Hard. I had eaten a large lunch, knowing I wouldn't be getting any dinner, but it was in vain. Once father kicked me, it forced the food out of my stomach, and I felt the rising feeling in the back of my throat. my stomach emptied it's contents onto to the floor.

"I'm going out to find the peace and quiet that I obviously can't find in my own house. When I come back, this floor had best be clean." Fathers voice was dangerously calm. He walked out the door, and I heard him start the car and drive away.

Rosalie came down immedialatly after she heard the car leave, and saw my agonized form. She said "don't worry, I'll clean this up."

I didn't like her to see me like this, but I had to admit I needed help. My voice came hoarsly; "thanks." I knew we'd never mention this again, Rosalie was to proud a person to dwell on problems. She didn't like to be indebted to anyone, or to feel the responsibility of anyone looking up to her.

Soon, I was able to stand up. I slowly took my journey up the stairs to my room, for the first time, I wasn't sure if jasper would be there to comfort me. Filled with anticipation, I crept down the hallway to my room and slowly opened the door.

Jasper sat on my bed, his eyes filled with concern. "are you okay?" he asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

"no" it was such a relief to fianally say it, I was _not_ okay. "no, no, no." I began to cry.

jasper just held me when the tears stopped, and the sniffles began to slow he held me away from him, assessing the damage. "you're the belle of the world." He said.

He got up to leave and I called out to him; "jasper?"

He turned around, "yeah, Belle?"

"what if he never goes back?" I asked.

"what do you mean?" he asked, sounding puzzled.

"I mean, what if me never goes back to normal, the way he was before mom died, when he wasn't 'father' he was just Daddy?" it was the only reason we didn't tell the police that he hit us. He used to be my daddy, my best friend. I was his favorite daughter, and we were close. He was sweet to all of us, not really the diciplining parent. That was what made me so devastated the first time he hit me, the night after my mother's funeral.

"we're risking everything, for a hope, a dream that one day we'll wake up and he'll be daddy again. Well what if he doesn't?"

"he will, some day, he'll be back." Jasper was always so sure of everything. "he has to." That's when I realized, jasper needed hope as much as I did. I needed to be stronger, for him.


	4. Chapter 4

My alarm clock rang loud and clear at 5:30 in the morning

My alarm clock rang loud and clear at 5:30 in the morning. School started at 8, but I woke up at 5:30 because I needed the extra time to put enough makeup to cover the bruises on my face and arms.

I reached out with my right had to turn off the alarm clock and gasped in pain. Then last nights events came rushing back to me. I thought my arm was probably broken, then I decided to ask jasper to check it out.

I walked into jasper's room and woke him up; "Jasper? Jazz."

Jasper looked up at me, "what's wrong?"

I knew I needed to phrase this carefully, because Jasper would be angry if I didn't. "Jazz, sorry, I woke you up so early. But I… I think I broke my arm." I said the last bit all in a rush.

Jasper looked angry; "Bella, first of all, I'm here for you 24/7, you don't need to apologize. And secondly, if your arm is broken, _you_ didn't break it, _he _broke it."

After a moments pause he spoke again, "let me see your arm." I held out my arm for him to examine. His gentle fingers examined my swollen arm. "Well, it's defiantly broken."

I tried desperately to figure out a story that could pass in school, but I kept coming up blank. "Any ideas of what we're going to tell the school? We can't tell them it's broken, because I can't go to the hospital to get a cast."

Jasper looked at me, determination now fierce in his features; "I was thinking about it last night, I think we need Rosalie in here before I continue."

I walked down the hall to wake Rosalie up, still confused of what jasper had needed her for. I walked up right next to her bed and I said, "Rose, wake up. Rose._ Rose._" Rosalie opened her eyes slowly; when I was sure she was awake, I continued, "Jasper wants to talk to us, in his room."

Rosalie got out of bed and blindly stumbled down the hall to jasper's room; "we're here, what do you want?"

"Well, last night, father broke Bella's arm." Jasper explained kindly.

Rosalie's eyes went wide in shock, "how?"

I hung my head "well, I wasn't quiet enough when I came in so-"

Jasper interrupted me, a look of fury on his face; "Bella, this is _not _your fault. This was all him. Understand?

"Yes jasper." I said, quietly, I knew that on some level this _was_ my fault.

"good." Jasper said, looking calmed. "You can continue."

"Ok, so anyways, he pushed me down the stairs, and I got the wind knocked out of me so I couldn't breathe. I was sprawled out on the ground at the bottom of the stairs, with my arm in front of me. Father got this horrible grin on his face. And he put one foot here and the other here-" I pointed out the places on my arm where fathers feet had been, marked by two purple shoe shaped bruises. "- and he jumped."

Jasper and Rosalie looked at me in horror; "but Bella, Father Weighs at least 250 pounds." Rosalie said. It was true, father was 6'5" and he was about 75 muscle, 25 fat.

"He's out of control, Bells. First the Knife Incident," I could hear the capitalization in his tone, "and now this." Jasper was furious.

"Speaking of the knife incident, I think one of my cuts is infected, could you check for me?" I asked.

"Sure thing Bells" jasper said, fighting to keep his voice light. "Just show me the cut."

I lifted my shirt to show him the cut and Rosalie looked away. I knew why, she didn't want to see my stomach; it was painfully skinny, my ribs stuck out, and my hips jutted out at irregular angles. As an added reason, my stomach was covered in scars, bruises and cuts. These acted as a reminder to Rosalie of our father's betrayal, and she wanted no part of it. Jaspers reaction, however, was less noticeable, he saw my cut's and bruises, and he winced. "Rose, go into my box and bring it to me, along with the new roll of gauze." Rosalie ran over to his desk and brought the box and the gauze back to jasper.

Jasper looked up at me his eyes filled with pity. "They are all deep enough that if they did get infected you would get really sick. I'm going to clean the one that is already infected with peroxide. Then I'll clean all of them with alcohol and then I'll wrap them with this gauze."

I nodded, glad that he had told me exactly what he was going to do to me. I then felt the cool wetness of peroxide, and listened as it fizzed and bubbled. "This is going to hurt a bit, as will wrapping it, but you cannot scream. Don't wake father." As Jasper cleaned my cuts, I felt like my entire stomach burning over a fire. I had to fight not to scream. After a few minutes the burn started to subside, and jasper told me he was going to wrap it and that the worst was over. Jasper was wrong. Once he started to pull the gauze tight around my cuts it was as if I had been surrounded by fire. As he pulled the gauze tighter and tighter it was like pushing the fire in, closer and closer to me.

"Done," Jasper promised.

"Thanks," I replied. As much as this had hurt, I knew it was better than the cuts getting infected. "We should probably get back to whatever you wanted Rosalie in here for."

"Please," Rosalie said.

"Alright," Jasper cleared his throat. "I was thinking about it all last night. Bella made the point that it's been almost three years since mom died, and as you guys can see, Father has gotten worse. I think it's time for us to tell someone."

**Sorry about the cliffy, it just felt right to end it there. I'll end the conversation in the next chapter, I don't even know what's going to happen yet. School starts in 3 days ;..(**


	5. Chapter 5

"I think it's time for us to tell someone

**You guys are amazing! The story was taken down. I love you guys! Thanks for the encouraging messages, and this chapter is going out to all of the peeps that reviewed or flamed. I owe everyone a longer chapter. And I should be able to update every weekend day and every Monday.**

"I think it's time for us to tell someone."

The lure of the idea was creeping up my neck, slowly grabbing hold of me. I knew I needed to fight it. Who would we tell? The police? What if Father found out? What if Edward found out? My mind was filled with questions, and I allowed doubt to course through me.

Rosalie voiced one of my questions; "Who could we tell?"

Then, it dawned on all of us at the same time. The Cullen's. I was horrified; I didn't want Edward to know my greatest shame. "_No" _I blurted. My siblings stared at me in alarm, and I rushed to fix my mistake. "No, no. What about waiting it out? What about daddy?"

Unlike last night, it was Rosalie who comforted me this time; "Belle, we all loved Daddy. But is it really worth all this pain? Is _he_ really worth all this pain? Just for a chance, a _chance_ that he'll go back to normal. I just don't think it is worth it. I'm sorry, Belle."

I had to fight, to get Jazz and Rose back on my side. "What if people found out? We'd be disgraced. What if Edward found out?" by now I was ranting desperately. "He would hate me, because I'm not a virgin. You have to understand, if people found out, if _Edward _found out, I'd be disgraced. Maybe not you, but me? Think of me."

My words rang though the silent air until Rosalie broke the silence; "you really don't give him enough credit Bella."

"What do you mean?" I asked, honestly confused.

"Edward." Rosalie answered. When she saw the confused look on my face, she continued. "You said, 'He would hate me, because I'm not a virgin.' He's not going to hate you. He _loves _you, why can't you understand that?"

I answered, despite the fact that her question was rhetorical. "Because, someone else used to say he loved me, that he loved _us_. And look where it's gotten us."

"I say, we don't tell."

_Flash Back_

_"Let's play Barbies!" Rosalie said enthusiastically. I nodded, thinking this was the best idea of the century. The three of us, being triplets, all did everything together. This meant that jasper ended up playing Barbies with us every day._

_"No! Let's play Race cars!" at the age of four, jasper thought that racecars were the coolest thing ever. He also thought that he could catch cooties and die from any girl, except Rosalie and me._

_"BARBIES!" Rosalie and I screamed in unison._

_"RACE CARS" Jasper screamed._

_ Minutes later, Rosalie and I were screaming "Barbies Barbies Barbies Barbies Barbies Barbies" at the same time as Jasper was shouting 'cars cars cars cars cars cars cars.' _

_"DADDY!" I yelled, hoping for some help. Daddy came rushing down the stairs. "Daddy, rose and I wanna play Barbies. But Jazzy wants to play with racecars."_

_"Luvvies" daddy said, calling all of us. "Put it up for a vote. If two of you want to play with Barbies, than play with Barbies. Okay?" Rosalie and I gave enthusiastic okays, but poor jasper was tired of playing Barbies all day. He simply sat down, and began to cry. Then Daddy set down a rule that would change our lives forever. "If you can't agree on something, don't do it. Try to find another answer that makes everyone happy."_

_End flashback_

That day, we ended up playing hide and seek. A week later, mom died, and out lives changed forever; Daddy became Father, and we were on our own.

Still, 14 years later, we followed daddy's rule. I didn't want to tell, so we wouldn't tell. It seemed sort of… ironic that we would employ this now, in our decision of whether or not we should put him in jail.

**SORRY. She wanted to tell him, and I wanted her to tell him, but in this story, I don't get to play God. Bella's in charge here. She's in charge of my fingers; they fly across the keyboard with almost no necessary thought. **


	6. Chapter 6

Just FYI I had to change this entie chapter to make y'all happy

**Just FYI I had to change this entire chapter to make y'all happy. So here's the chapter.**

-Two weeks later-

I lay on the ground, screaming and clutching my stomach in pain. Dwelling in the past minutes, I thought of father. Father's hands roaming all over my body, roaming to places that no father's hands should ever be. Father had already made his exit. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. _Where was jasper? _I thought. In misery, I let the darkness overcome me.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. _I opened my eyes slowly; the light of the room overwhelmed me. I immediately knew that this wasn't my room. I was in a room at Forks Hospital. I tried to get up and look around, but I groaned in pain. "Hello, Bella. You've been out for a while now haven't you?" a male voice said from in front of me.

I struggled to place this voice, as I knew I'd heard it before. The man spoke again; "Bella, I hope you don't mind that I'm your doctor, because of the fact that you're my son's girlfriend. If you do, I can always find you a new doctor."

I realized where I knew the voice from. _Carlisle. _"No, Carlisle, that's just fine." _Fine_ I still mentally cringed at the use of the word.

"Well Bella, I want you to know that doctor – patient confidentiality still applies in your case. Especially in yours." Carlisle said, suddenly all business.

_Especially mine? _What was he getting at? "Of course Carlisle, but if you don't mind me asking, what do you mean, especially mine?"

Carlisle's answer was the last thing I expected; "Bella, there are some peculiar things about your case. Your body is covered in hand shaped bruises. Your X-rays show that you have had several untreated injuries in the past. Bella, you have to trust me, and be entirely honest. Who did this to you?"

I couldn't breathe, how did he know? How could he have possibly figured out it was Father? "Before I answer that," I blurted, "I have a few questions." I needed to figure out how he knew.

"Why don't we make a little deal? I'll answer any questions you have, if you'll answer any questions I have."

What could he possibly want to know? If he didn't know it was father this couldn't be to bad. After a moment's hesitation, I responded, "okay."

Carlisle looked satisfied; "you may begin." He said softly, in a voice he reserved for being as calm and comforting as possible.

"Exactly what's wrong with me?" I needed to know exactly how bad this was before I could think of an excuse. This time, an excuse wouldn't be as easy as others. Carlisle already knew that I hadn't been to the hospital for several injuries. It could be easy to explain, if the injuries had been minor I could say that I didn't think that they needed medical assistance.

"Well," Carlisle said, snapping me out of my thoughts. He must have expected a question like this. "You've got five broken ribs, one of which has punctured a lung. Also, you've got a double concussion, and your right ankle is broken. In addition, your right wrist is broken and it appears to have set badly. Lastly, and most seriously, you had some severe internal bleeding. We had to operate to stop the bleeding and to patch the lung; we'll have to operate on your wrist." Wow. Father had done some damage this time; I remembered my broken wrist from two weeks before. _So it had set itself badly. _Jasper had done the best work that he could; I knew that without him, my wrist would be far worse.

_Jasper. _Where was jasper? "Where is-" I blurted.

Carlisle shushed me; "it's my turn Bella." He said, reminding me of the deal we made. His question was one I should have expected, entirely professional. "What hurts?"

I didn't know what to say. After a moment of thought, I decided to tell him the truth; "um, I know this isn't helpful but, everything?"

Carlisle smiled, and I took this as a signal that it was my turn again. I was frantic to get this question out; "Where is Jasper?"

Carlisle again smiled. "He's here, just outside this room, so is Edward." _Edward._ I blushed, feeling guilty for not having asked for him as well. It occurred to me that Carlisle was sill talking, and I hadn't heard what he had said. I tuned back in; "left since you got here."

I waited, anxious for Carlisle's next question. "What happened to you? How did you get hurt?"

My eyes went wide: "that's two questions." I pointed out in a pathetic attempt to stall.

"Bella-" Carlisle began. He didn't need to finish.

"Alright, I- I tripped" it was another default. _What happened? _I tripped. _Why can't you participate in sports?_ I tripped. _How did you manage to do that? _I tripped. It was natural, almost easy to say.

"You tripped, and it caused this much damage?" Carlisle asked, his eyebrows rose in speculation.

"I tripped… and fell down the stairs."

"In your room?" crap.

I'd forgotten where I was found. I needed to think. I couldn't lose daddy because of I forgot where I was found. "Hey! You've had more than your fair share of questions. I'd like to see Edward and jasper now."

"Very well" Carlisle said, already on his way to the door. He called out to Edward and jasper, his voice soft. "Jasper, Edward, she's awake."


	7. Chapter 7

**This is short, it's really short, but I will get back on the horse, I will finish this story. You need to understand why the death of ray ray's father was such a big deal to me. Over the past year, I have lost 10 of the people that matter to me most. First, in December I lost my grandmother to lupus, on Christmas day. In January, I lost my uncle to brain cancer. In February I lost my grandfather, a hit and run victim. My boyfriend was shot at his vacation house in Ohio in March along with my brother, whom I lost to leukemia. In April on my birthday, I found out that my 12-years-older sister had been bombed in service to our nation in Iraq. Four of my friends are in a state of vegetation at a hospital, they won't come out of it alive, so they are lost too. Lastly, ray ray's dad. Ray Ray's father was my godfather. This year has been tough. I'm asking you please not to send reviews saying sorry. I don't want you pity. I just wanted you to understand why the loss of Ray Ray's dad was so difficult. I will update again soon.**

What followed was a rather comical sight, Carlisle leapt out of the doorway in order to avoid two charging boys. "Bella!" they screamed in unison, "are you okay?"

I fought the urge to say "no, I'm not okay.". Instead, I replied, "of course, it looks much worse than it is."

Edward and jasper spoke frantically for almost 20 minutes about my condition. Finally, I spoke up, "um, Edward?" Edward green eyes peered into my own, "could I have a minute alone with jasper?"

I saw the pain flash in Edwards eyes, "of course, I geuss I'll just go."

I was instantly sorry, "no Edward, I didn't--"

Edward cut me off, "of course not love. but, you must promise me something bella." _Anything._ I mentally replied. "Promise me that you'll never be afraid to ask for anything from me."

I couldn't help but smile, it was these love filled remarks from Edward that made my day every day. "of course. Always."

I stared at Edward longingly, forgetting why I asked him to leave. Jasper cleared his throat, bringing me back to reality. "bells?"

"ya jazz?"

"we need to tell, daddy's not coming back. Father could have killed you belle, you could have _died. _What would we have done then?"

_you would have survived _I thought. Instead, I said "Jasper Whitlock Swan. We can't tell them. Besides, this isn't so bad. I can take it Jazz, don't worry about me."

I could see that jasper disagreed, but he took a moment before he answered me. "Bella. I'm sure _you _can handle it, but think about us. Think about Rosalie she's changed so much since all this started, she's become so _cold." _I could hear jasper's shiver in his voice. "I don't think she can take this. Give her a chance, before she's broken beyond repair."

Jasper had me and he knew it. I hesitated, considering the options in my head, either I told, or I didn't tell. I did the right thing, or I did the wrong thing. The trouble was, I didn't know what was the right thing to do. If I told, Father would be locked up, labeled as a bad person forever, his life would never be the same, and the Daddy that I knew would be gone forever, lost inside my Father. I would leave him, right when he needed me. But if I didn't tell, the abuse continued, we would all take the abuse, we would suffer, but Father would be happy. "Alright. Just promise me something." I faintly smiled as I remembered Edward's use of the same words just moments ago.

"Anything bells. Anything." I could see the sincerity in jasper's eyes.

"Promise me, that you will let me tell Edward myself." The pain tore through meat these words, but I could handle some pain if it would benefit my siblings. Edward would leave, I would be torn apart, but rose, she still had a chance, jazz still had a chance at a normal childhood. And I couldn't take that away from them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Alright, another short chapter, but it's important. Also, just FYI I have this **_**wonderful**_** new beta, be my valentine. She went through the painful task of reading through my unedited work, and making it work. Check out her stories, my personal favorite is **_**surprises.**_

-previously-

"Promise me, that you will let me tell Edward myself." The pain tore

through me at these words, but I could handle some pain if it would benefit my siblings. **(um. Funny story, I accidently wrote "the pain tore through meat." My beta was a bit confused by it. Lolz.)** Edward would leave, I would be torn apart, but Rose, she still had a chance, Jazz still had a chance at a normal childhood. And I couldn't take that away from them.

Jasper nodded slowly, and headed towards the door. As he approached the door, he stopped and said softly, "I'll send Edward in."

I nodded, and Jasper left. I waited, eyes closed, taking deep breaths, for Edward to enter. "Knock -knock," said a soft velvet voice.

I decided to play along in my last few minutes with Edward. "Who's there?" I said with the most cheerful voice possible.

Next, Edward spoke, his velvet voice sounding almost offended, "It's me, Edward," he let out a low chuckle, and I knew he was kidding.

"Edward who?" I asked, I probably would have laughed at a situation like this, if I hadn't been under the stress of telling Edward something that would change my life, for better, or for worse.

"Edward Cullen" he replied, "the man you love, and he'd really like to come in." At this I did crack a smile, only Edward could make me laugh at a time such as this.

"Come in." the smile fell off my face, I was really going to do this, I was really going to tell him.

Edward walked into the room, and sat down on the chair next to my bed. He looked down at me, and stared, taking in my face for a moment. He held my hand, and caressed my cheek. He looked pained to see me sad. "Bella? Are you okay? Are you in pain? Is-"

I cut him off "stop, I'm not in to much pain, but I do need to talk to you." I hoped Edward would sense the weight of my words.

He seemed to grasp the importance of my words. "Alright, I'm here, I'm always here for you, Love."

I winced, after this; he would never call me "love" again. I took in a deep breath and said to him, "Well Edward, I think you deserve to know how I got hurt." Edward seemed confused. I continued; "My dad is the reason I'm here, he's the one who hurt me." Goodbye Edward. I thought.

"Bella, what do you mean? I need you to explain. Does he abuse you? Is this the first time?" Edward, to my surprise didn't look disgusted, only pained that I was forced to go through this. Then again, he didn't know that I was a filthy **** (ouch, I wanted to say whore, but my beta changed it… I mean, it **_**is**_** rated M oh welll….)**.

I closed my eyes, savoring these last moments. I prepared myself, and I replied. "No, no. he's not abusive, he's not a bad person. But sometimes, he gets a little rough."

Edward now looked furious, "Does he hit you?"

I was trapped; I didn't know what to say. I was too far in to pull out, to say "Just kidding." I longed to say it; I longed to have a normal life. Edward and I could be happy together, I had no doubt. Instead, I said "Yes," I was defeated; I couldn't deny it any longer.

Edward punched a desk. I jumped, memories flooding back to me.

I could hear my heart beat speeding up. My breath became short. I could hear Edward saying to calm down. I wanted to open my eyes and tell him I was okay, and I was sorry. But I couldn't. My eyes rolled back in my head.

**a/n:**

**ok so, if you're confused, Charlie DOES abuse Bella, she just doesn't think of it as abuse. Also, if you don't get my AMAZING hinting at the end, let me dumb it down for you: BELLA FAINTS.**


	9. Chapter 9

**um, hi guys! **

**So as most of you know, I had a MAJOR crisis last night! I couldn't decide what I wanted to happen. Although I really don't care if you review or not, I only sent the PM out to those who reviewed, because I consider them the most devoted readers. Before you call me a hypocrite, it's because they VOLENTAIRILY tell me what they think of my story, I don't make them.**

**Anyhooo, my favorite idea come from… ****AnmlLvr! When I read her idea, the whole story fell into place for me.**

**ALSO **_**THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT**_**. I changed the ages of Bella, Jazz, and Rose to sixteen.**

**And thanks to my AMAZING beta, be my valentine**

**Oh! One more thing, DO NOT review with the word UPDATE and multiple exclaimation points, it WON'T get you on my list…**

**Without farther ado…**

Chapter 9

"Bella?"

"Bella?"

"Bella? Can you hear us? Wake up." Faint voices demanded of me. I wanted to respond, but my lips couldn't form the words. Then, silence. It forced my mind into seclusion, pushing me deeper into the Darkness.

When I awoke, the stiff feeling in my neck and fingertips told me that I'd been asleep for quite some time, but I was too exhausted to open my eyes. I laid on the bed, eyes closed, in a state between consciousness and slumber.

Just as I was about to give in to the drowsiness, I heard a voice, and

noticed a hand on mine. A steady muttering in a voice like rough velvet; "Bella, I need you to wake up," he was whispering, almost as if a voice any louder would make me evaporate into thin air. Edward continued, "You can do this Bella, we'll get through this." Edward swallowed; "Come on Bella, just open your eyes." I fought to open my eyes, but I couldn't.

I heard two knocks on the door, and before Edward could answer, footsteps. "Hey, man. Can I come in?" I instantly recognized the voice as Jasper's.

Edward squeezed my hand, and replied; "Sure," My heart broke a little bit, at the sound of Edward's voice, so broken and upset. I willed my hands to work, to reach out to him, but they couldn't.

I knew Jazz could tell that something was wrong, and I was shocked when he didn't ask Edward if he was okay. I'd have to ask him about that. There was an agonizing pause. Then Jasper's voice cut through the silence with vigor; "So Edward," Jasper paused.

From the seat next to me, I heard a quiet answer. "Yes?" again, he kissed me on the forehead.

Jasper was quiet for a second, as if gathering his thoughts. When he spoke again, he spoke slowly, taking every word into consideration before it left his mouth.

"Did she tell you why she's here?" Jasper asked his voice low.

Edward's reply was so low, and twisted into almost a growl. "That man," Edward was furious, his voice coming out in short, ragged breaths. "Your Father. The one who was supposed to be protecting her." Edward allowed the venom to sink into every word.

I heard Jasper suck in a breath through his teeth; I could picture him

spinning his Rolex watch-a gift from Alice-around his wrist. It was his tell, when he was nervous, angry, stressed, or lying he would develop a sudden interest in his watch. "I need to know exactly what she told you." Jasper stressed.

I could feel my breathing become shallow. Fortunately, neither of the boys seemed to notice. Edward told Jasper what he knew. That Charlie had hit me to the point that medical assistance was necessary.

Jasper sucked in another breath. He began to speak before I could process

what he was about to say. "Well, Edward. Father used to be a good man, he

would laugh, and he would play games in the yard with us, he was a perfect

father and we called him Daddy." Jasper paused, now the story got painful.

"I trust you know about our mother?" Jasper paused, and I pictured Edward

nodding. "She died when we were four. And right around then, Charlie started

feeling alone and he didn't know what to do. He'd never been alone before,

I mean, after he turned eighteen he married my mom. It was a smooth

transition, his mom would cook and clean for him, and then his wife would.

Without anyone to do his work for him, he couldn't manage. So he would ask

Bella and Rosalie and I to cook and clean for him-"

"At four years old?" Edward asked, shocked.

"Yes," Jasper replied, sounding annoyed at the interruption. "Anyway,

Bella would cook, and iron. I would do the wash, and put all the clothes In

the dryer. Rosalie would do the dishes, and clean up around the house. The

system worked fine, until one night dad unexpectedly came home from work

early, and his dinner wasn't ready yet."

_---Flashback---_

_Just as I was heating the frying pan over the stove to make Father's_

_Dinner, (at four-thirty in the afternoon), the doorbell rang. Mommy had_

_taught us to never open the door for strangers, and it seemed too early for daddy to be home. He wasn't usually home until five o'clock. Rosalie and I screamed, and Jasper looked terrified. He put on a brave face and said in a fake deep voice, "I'll protect you!" and bold as brass, Jasper marched up to that door and saw Father. Needless to say, Father was not happy. He had left his keys at home today, and didn't appreciate having to wait outside his own house._

_Father came in, hung his gun up as usual, and then walked straight to the table, expecting his dinner to be there as it usually was. Father, already angry, became furious. He marched into the kitchen, straight towards me. "Where's my dinner?" Father boomed, sounding dangerous._

_I had never been so scared in my life. "Well Bella? Don't make me ask again." I let out a squeak; now he yelled. "WHERE'S MY DINNER?"_

_I was naive to think that if I made him see reason, he wouldn't be angry_

_anymore. I phrased my response very carefully. "Well, Daddy, it's only_

_four-thirty, and you're usually not home 'till five o'clock, so it's not finished yet. But the frying pan is heated, so it should only be a little bit longer. I promise." Big mistake. If I had learned one thing since then, it was that Father didn't like to be blamed for anything, and by making it seem like it was his fault, I had fallen into the biggest trap there was._

_I watched as Charlie's face changed color, from an angry red to a furious purple, from furious purple to a strangled red, from a strangled red to calm white. I was about to let out a sigh of relief, but then Charlie started slowly walking towards me, a ghost of a smirk on his face. "I oughta turn you over my knee for that comment. discipline you. Come here Isabella," I walked slowly over to him. I fought to keep my breath steady. Charlie's voice was ice cold when he spoke again. "Now girl." He spat the words at me. "Go get me a chair. Quickly." I dashed into the dining room to get Charlie a chair and I dragged it back to him._

_Charlie sat down on the chair. "Take your pants and underwear off." He_

_said menacingly. I dropped them, surprised that he had given me such an easy task. __**(And at four, not wearing pants wasn't a big deal.)**__ "Now lean over my lap," I leaned so that my stomach was across his lap, and my bottom was just at the far edge of father's thigh. I heard the sound of metal on metal, and then, my butt was on fire. Charlie had picked up the hot frying pan off the stove, and brought it down on my bare butt. He held it there, the searing pain getting more and more intense. Tears_

_poured out of my eyes, my voice becoming louder and shriller with every shriek that left my mouth. And just when the pan began to cool, he tore it off me._

_My skin had burned onto the frying pan, and when he removed it, almost all the skin on my butt came with it._

_Charlie threw me off his lap, and left to get something to eat. As I lay on the ground, tears pouring out of my eyes, all I could think was, "Jasper broke his promise, he didn't protect me."_

_---End flashback---_

As I fell deeper into the memories, my blood pressure rose, and I found myself able to open my eyes. I tested my voice, if I could interrupt them; Jasper couldn't tell Edward the story. "Edward? Jasper?" My voice was feeble, but both heard me.

Edward and Jasper threw small smiles at me. "Hey." Edward said quietly. "Are you alright? We were talking, and you just fainted." I decided not to tell him that he was the one who had scared me. I nodded weakly.

Jasper just looked between Edward and me, and nodded. "Well Belle, I'm going to call Rose and tell her you're awake. You two kids have fun now." Edward and I rolled our eyes simultaneously.

There was silence in the room for a moment. I knew Edward was waiting for me to finish my story. "I guess you want to hear the rest of why I'm here." Edward shot me a 'no duh' look, so I continued, "Well. What do you want to know?" I didn't want Edward to know all the gory details of my relationship with my father.

Edward's voice brought me out of my thoughts. "Your father. Does he hurt you?" His eyes were begging me to tell him no.

My lip quivered. "Yes." I knew I had to be honest.

Edward sighed and bit his lip. "How long has he been hurting you for?"

He wanted me to say that it was just this one time, but I couldn't.

"T-twelve years," I replied.

"So he hit's you, and has been doing it for 12 years, and you didn't tell me?" He sounded agonized. I nodded. Edward closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and continued, and what he said shocked me. "Are you alright?"

Edward sounded so sweet, so caring, that I knew I had to tell him right

then. "Wait. Edward?" He looked up at me. "There's something else you should know." My head hung. "H-he, well, Edward, sometimes he… rapes me." I let my voice fall for these last two words.

Edward was furious, "He rapes you?" I nodded, a tear leaking out of my

eye. Edward closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. "How long?" he

whispered.

"For about…" I counted back in my head, "6 years." Edward's eyes were still closed, and it frightened me. "Edward?" I paused. "Edward please say something."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, his hands raking through his bronze

hair.

I didn't want to answer. He looked at me in expectation, and I knew I had to. "I was afraid, father would hurt me, and you'd think I was a whore. I couldn't lose you."

"Do you really think I would ever stop loving you?" Edward asked, begging me with his eyes to see reason. I didn't answer. "I'll always love you, but-" He paused.

Although I expected the pain, it hurt me so much more than I expected. "But what? Edward?"

"But I don't know if I can trust you, Bella." He paused, taking in my

hurt expression. "I mean, you didn't trust me, you kept this secret for

all this time, and you should have told me. I always made it clear that you could trust me. But I can't trust you anymore." And with that, he turned on his heel and he left.


	10. Chapter 10

**Wow, yet again, my story has been stolen. The author this time was original enough to change the title to Charlie Sucks, and she accually wrote a new summery! Good work baby hater. Dog kicker. I'm glad you have the nerve to change THAT MUCH! Congrats, you're officially more creative than TwilightSpoons! I find it horrible that someone would send me a PM telling me they "JUST LOVE THIS STORY SOOO MUCH!!!!!" and asking me to check out their stories, knowing that I would only find MY story. Evil little bitch. But, I've decided that that doesn't hurt me as much as knowing that people who review MY story, also reviewed "her" story, and didn't comment on how it was mine. If my story isn't memorable, I'm wasting my time.**


	11. Chapter 11

**IM BAAACCCKKKKK! I love you guys! you really helped me get back on top of this whole plagiarism fiasco. Thanks again! You're gonna hate me after this chapter though.**

-Last time-

"I'll always love you, but-" He paused. "But I don't know if I can trust you, Bella." He paused, taking in my hurt expression. "I mean, you didn't trust me, you kept this secret for all this time, and you should have told me. I always made it clear that you could trust me. But I can't trust you anymore." And with that, he turned on his heel and he left.

Chapter 10

A sob escaped my lips and the room blurred with tears waiting to spill out. I curled into a fetal position, ignoring the pain that shot through my body. I let the tears and sobs rip through my body freely now. With each sob I remembered Edward's harsh words._ "But I can't trust you anymore Bella."_

Another emotion boiled beneath my sorrow, and it was anger, anger at Rosalie. If it weren't for her, Edward and I would still be together, and Jasper would have been home that night, he wouldn't have been driving Rose to the mall. Cold and harsh, anger snuck its slimy hands around my heart and grasped.

Time was meaningless, had it been hours or merely minutes? Eventually, an upbeat knock rapped through the room. I didn't bother responding. I heard the door creak open; "Bella? Are you awake?" Jasper's whispered voice cut through the room like a knife. Upon viewing my face, Jasper's jaunty grin withered and died. I watched numbly as Jasper dropped the brown paper bag he was holding and dashed across the room. "Belle, what's wrong? Do you need more pain meds? Is father here? Did he--" I cut Jasper off.

"He's gone." I was slightly surprised at how empty my voice sounded; it was a shallow surprise, however. I was too far gone to find it as fascinating as it would have undoubtedly been. "He's gone." I repeated, as if my endless repetition of the words would bring some comprehension of their meaning. I felt the knot in my throat tighten, I couldn't breathe. My voice became higher, more forced. _"He's gone."_ The words hurt.

Jasper lowered himself to my eye level; "What's wrong, baby? Who's gone?" I could tell that Jasper knew who I was referring to, but he either couldn't or didn't want to believe it.

"I told him, and he left." The words burned in my throat.

Jasper's eyes turned from panicked to angry. "Edward, _left_?" He snapped. I didn't respond; the tear streaks on my face were answer enough, letting him know his assumption had been correct. Jasper's face softened, care and concern once again shone in his features. He climbed into the hospital bed next to me; I tried to move over to make more room for him. Jasper figured out what I was doing before I made any progress. "Don't," he said, authority ringing in his soft tone. I was too tired and upset to argue, so I turned my face and cried.

I cried for everything Father had done to me since I was four. I cried for Mommy. I cried for my family, and for my friendships, often accumulated and taken advantage of, soon to be lost. But most of all, I cried for Edward. I cried for all of our happy memories, for every minute of sheer bliss, now gone forever. I was escaping, leaving Father, the greatest oppressor in my life. So why did it hurt so much? Why were the potential drawbacks suddenly overshadowing the potential advantages?

Jasper held me tight through my tears and thoughts, whispering "You're the Belle of the world." Or "Shh, you're alright. You're going to be alright." He stroked my hair the whole time with his free hand.

Jasper never told me to stop crying. Maybe he recognized that I needed this, because somewhere, in all that sobbing, my heart had softened.

My anger at Rosalie dissolved. Something about my anger at father had changed too. Just the tiniest tweak, like a poorly placed move in Jenga®, the walls of anger I had built around myself crumbled.

The anger, the same anger that convinced me to tell Edward, to take a stand, lay in ruins around me. Now I sat vulnerable, susceptible to pain, and to sorrow. I had finally stripped away that last bit of protection. Somehow, through the fear, I felt, _lighter. _

I knew it was only a matter of time before my heart, flighty in its attempts to keep me whole, submitted to the crushing pain of before. I also knew that the trade wasn't worth it. Losing my friends to a few bruises? It seemed so childish. I had to use my clearness of thoughts to my advantage.

I attempted to straighten myself in Jasper's arms, and gasped in pain. Moving with extensive injuries wasn't wise. "Jazz?" I whispered. "Jazzy?" my voice crackled.

Jasper loosened his grip and sighed. "Yes Bella?"

I looked up. Jasper's face was grave, he appeared to have aged 10 years since he sat down with me. My voice became smaller in anticipation. "I don't think--" I paused, unsure of the safest way to phrase this. "I don't want to press charges."

I could feel Jasper stiffen. His grasp on my shoulders tightened. "Bells, don't do this. Not again." His grip kept tightening.

"Jazz, you're-" I interrupted, gasping in pain, I could feel my stitches throb.

Jasper couldn't be interrupted in his anger. His grip continued to tighten. "No Bells, we _have _to press charges. We can't let him win."

Jasper's words were insignificant compared to the resulting pain of his tightening hands. I could feel the stitches stretch over my shoulder. "Jazz?"

Jasper continued to ignore me. "No, this won't do. You _must_ Bella. You _have _to press charges." His rambling continued. Did he even care that I was in pain?

The stitches stretched tighter over my now throbbing shoulder. "Jazzy. Please. _Please._" Begging had sometimes worked with Father; maybe it could help with the monster his son was becoming.

Jasper just got angrier. His grip tightened, and I felt the stitches pop. I let out a gasp, small and terrified as I felt the blood flow down my arm.

After all my yelling for his attention, this tiny gasp snapped him out of the trance he was in. Jasper gulped and unclasped his hand from my bleeding bruised shoulder. He stared from his hands to my shoulder, as if unable to comprehend the connection between the two.

When Jasper finally spoke, his face was pale, and his voice was weak. "Bells. I'm so sorry, please, you have to forgive me. Please! Oh Bella, I'm so sorry!"

I wanted to respond. I wanted to grab Jasper and tell him that it wasn't his fault; that I was okay. My lips couldn't move. My heart wanted to reach out to Jasper, to help him. But in my mind, for just one second, I saw father in Jasper's features. My heart still loved my brother dearly, but my mind was petrified with fear.


	12. Chapter 12

**Ok. Explaining time. I was in the hospital for a while because I was passing out from not eating enough and getting a concussion—bad combination. Then, I didn't feel the need to write. THEN we had this track meet to train for and I only had a week to train cuase I was in the hospital for so long and everyone else had been training for 3 weeks (I go to school on a sports scholarship, so this really was important.) anyhoooo then after dominating the track meet (1****st**** in shot put 2****nd**** in discuss, 1****st**** in the 800 meter) a SHOTPUT landed on my arm. (that's like a bowling ball, like the kind you use for duck bowling, but heavier). So now my arm is broken and I have a lot of PT and stuff and I cant move a lot of my fingers. Don't believe it? Well you better. Welcome to my life.**

Jasper jumped up and slammed the call button into the wall. A bored voice filled the room; "Hello, this is Nurse Kayla. How can I--"

Jasper cut her off, "My sister, she needs a doctor. There's," Jasper's voice broke—"there's so much blood. _Get her a doctor._"

Jasper grabbed a wad of cotton from the counter across the room. With the care that only a brother can possess, he pressed the cotton against the cuts on my shoulders. Green splotches covered my vision, and I was fighting to remain conscious. Jasper again slammed the call button against the wall, harder this time than the first. He didn't bother waiting for Nurse Kayla. I watched through unfocused eyes as Jasper dashed across the room to the door. "_Doctor. _Doctor, please. We need a doctor. Help. _Please." _Jasper was sobbing by the end of his sentence. He ran back across the room to my bedside. "Bella? Belle? Come on; let me see those beautiful green eyes. Come on Bells." I was slipping fast and Jasper seemed to know it. "Come on Bella," And with that, the world went black.

***

3 hours later

***

I awoke to a sobbing Rosalie in my hospital room. Jasper was desperately trying to comfort her. "Shh," he said. "Hush Rose, and tell me what's wrong." Jasper asked her over and over again what had happened, sounding more and more desperate. Jasper and I were used to Rosalie never showing emotion, always strong, always the same. Rosalie's sobs and refusal to explain her sorrow confused him. I wasn't quite ready to speak yet, and Jasper didn't seem to have noticed that I was awake.

I fought back a gasp when my eyes landed on Rosalie's face. Her eyes were red and swollen, indication that she'd been crying for quite some time, her hair was disheveled, and her eyes held sorrow and shame. More noticeable than this, was the gash on Rosalie's forehead. The fresh scar from father a few weeks ago had reopened, and blood was dripping down her face. I broke my hair and looked at Jasper. Although physically fine, guilt racked through his features, and the look of misery was etched into his face. I knew I had to try to put them out of their misery, and I knew it was time to speak. I cleared my throat, and the result was instantaneous, not a clear throat, but Rose stopped crying, and looked up at me with sorrowful eyes.

I cleared my throat again, and I croaked, "Rose, baby. Come here." Rosalie nodded and slowly made her way over to my bed, and hesitated by the edge. I tapped next to me on my bed, and silently, she climbed onto my bed and snuggled into my side, Rosalie's tough exterior was dissolving. I looked up briefly to tell Jasper to leave, and he was already at the door. He knew Rosalie didn't want him to know, and I nodded, telling him to leave. Rosalie was shaking with sobs in my arms. "Shh, my Rose. Tell me what happened." Rose sobbed even harder.

I was prepared to wait with tissues until Rose was ready to tell me what was wrong. After she had cried for about another half hour, I'd had enough. "Rosie, Babe. I can't help you until you tell me what's wrong."

Rosalie looked up. Her voice was horse, and so quiet that I could barely make out what she said. "Oh, Bella. It was so horrible." Rose broke down sobbing again, after a few minutes; she found the ability to continue. "I was going home after I came here, while you were asleep, and," She stopped. Rosalie's sobs began to break through again. But now, she spoke through the tears. "He was so drunk and I was just coming home, and…" sobs shook her body furiously. "And he kept saying how beautiful I was. He said, that I was prettier that you. He kept saying that he was glad I didn't look like my mother, because her didn't want to be thinking about her right then--" Rosalie pushed her face into my shoulder. "I should have known. I should have run away as soon as I figured out that he was drunk. But I thought…" I knew what she'd thought. Of all of us, Rosalie was the most hopeful that father would redeem himself. I still didn't understand why Rosalie was sobbing so hard. Granted, father pushing her around was unusual, but it was certainly not unheard of. Maybe Rosalie had forgotten to make her bed. That could easily turn father from mean drunk to_ really_ mean drunk. Maybe she's mentioned me being in the hospital. That could also anger father.

With father, there were two kinds of drunk. Mean drunk, and _really_ mean drunk. If he was mean drunk, there would be a few slaps. Maybe a kick, but it would all be over in a few minutes. But if father was _really _mean drunk, he'd hit you so hard that you ached for days. He'd threaten you, he'd scare you, and he'd insult you. He knew just how to hurt you the most.

Looking at Rosalie's face, she'd gotten _really _mean drunk Father. He must've waved the knife in her face before cutting her, maybe threatened to kill her and Emmett. But even that shouldn't have upset Rosalie to this degree. I needed to know what had gone down between her and Father. "Rosalie, it's okay. Just tell me what's wrong." Silence.

I raised my voice "What's _wrong?_"

Rosalie muttered something into my shoulder. "_What?"_ I asked, annoyed.

"He wouldn't get off of me. He was pushing me towards a wall, and he just kept telling me that I was beautiful. And then his hands were on me, and I couldn't push him off. And I yelled, and screamed, and kicked, but he wouldn't leave me alone. He wouldn't _get off _me, Belle. He—he raped me" rose barely breathed the words, even I, with my ear to her head, could barely hear her.

I couldn't talk. I couldn't think. I couldn't even breathe. I felt my face slip into a mask of horror. Rosalie was quick to comment. "I—I promise. I didn't want to. The whole time, all I wanted was for him to stop. To get off me, to die. And you know the worst part? He's my _father._ He's my father, and he didn't find it the least bit disturbing to sleep with his daughter. Please don't hate me."

My voice caught in my throat as I struggled to find the words. "Rosalie. I, I could never hate you. I hate _him. _I hate him for doing this to us."

Rosalie looked relieved, but I knew I had to kill her sense of contentment right then. "But Rose, we have to tell Jasper, and I promise you we're gonna get you out of that hellhole as soon as we can. I promise."

"Jasper?" Rosalie looked puzzled. "Why Jasper?"

I couldn't explain it, Rosalie was the most emotionally delicate of all of us, and I didn't want her to know what I mess I was after my first time with Father. I couldn't describe how much Jasper had helped me. I knew I needed another reason for her to tell Jasper; Rosalie had dealt with so much of her pain today, she shouldn't have to deal with mine. I thought up a reasonable explanation, and told her, "Jasper's a member of our family, and in our family, we can't keep secrets. Secrets drive a wedge into relationships, and I need you and Jasper. I know you need Jasper. Let's keep him as close as we can."

Rosalie considered this for a moment and nodded. "Jasper?" she called weakly. "Jazz?"

Jasper was at the door frame in a flash. "Hey," he said softly. "How are my two best girls?" He smiled, just barely, a tiny smirk that broke through the heavy layers of grief on his face. That smile, miniscule as it was, lightened the moods in the room, it tweaked the environment in a tiny way, and it immediately made Rose more comfortable.

She spilled her story to Jasper, and I carefully monitored his face. I thought he'd wince, just as he had for all those years when he asked me to tell him my stories. Jasper surprised me this time. He stood up, his face murderous, and he yelled. "Do you girls plan on _doing _anything about this? Or are you just going to go home? And put yourselves in this position again? I won't let you." Briefly, I was reminded of a book that I'd read as a young child, the story of a bind girl, who was hit on the head and made her see. Just as it was in the story, sometimes it took a bit of force to make someone see.


	13. Chapter 13

**Weird request, I know, but can I have at least one flame before I update?**

I took a deep breath and nodded in agreement. "Okay." I whispered. "I think I can do this now." I held my hands out for support.

Jasper placed his hand in mine, "I think _we _can do this now."

It was a silent vote, and only Rosalie's vote was yet to be cast. I silently begged her with my eyes, desperation pouring out of me. Rose looked from me to Jasper and to me again, and made the first difficult decision of her life. Her hand joined mine.

The smile that stretched across Jasper's face as he walked out of the room to the Nurse's station was the first touch of happiness I'd seen all week. His smile seemed to go deeper than amusement; there was a trace of triumph in his smile. Jasper's walk, however, remained grim. I think all of us carried a trace of sorrow at admitting that father's faults couldn't be mended. I wished father could learn his lesson with a severe talking-to or a time out. I wanted to be able to help him with the pain he's faced for all these years.

I didn't notice Jasper reenter the room until his arms were around me. Immediately, a reflex reaction, I cringed. Jasper backed away in an instant, and regret filled his eyes. He settled for holding a hand and looking into my eyes. "You can't save everyone, Belle." He whispered.

The tracings of a smile formed on my lips. "I know Jazz, but I can try." He nodded.

"The nurse said five minutes until Carlisle could see us." Jasper said, shattering the silence.

All three of us settled in to wait. Time passed slowly and painfully, and the silence I had cherished before now suffocated me. "Jasper, promise me something."

We were all a little shocked at the sound of my voice, but Jasper quickly recovered; "Anything," he promised. His tone was certain, and I didn't doubt his words.

I took a breath and continued. "Promise me that it's possible for me to do the right thing without screwing someone over." Jasper looked confused and was about to cut in. I silenced him. "Promise me, that it's possible for everyone to be happy—not even happy, just content. I need to know that it's possible, and that there's still hope for daddy to end up okay."

Jasper cut in, "I know this is coming from some kind of guilt, but you need to know that father brought this on himself." Jasper, always the most understanding influence in my life, didn't understand. All he saw when he thought of Father was the angry man who had beaten me so many times. I saw daddy, the man who had swung me around with joy, and made me laugh until I cried. I saw the look of regret that passed through his eyes at breakfast when he saw the bruises that he caused.

Only Rose would understand this why I could never hate father. She grabbed my other hand, and was quick to soothe me. "He still has a shot. If he gets convicted he'll get the help he needs in prison, and he'll get out eventually. We're doing what we have to do, Bells; we're doing what we have to do to help daddy." It felt strange, the temporary role-reversal between us. For an instant, Rose took care of me. In that moment, any doubt I carried about telling Carlisle evaporated.

A moment later, Carlisle's fresh face emerged from behind the door. "Can I come in?" he asked, his voice hushed.

Jasper and Rosalie squeezed my hands for support. Jasper cleared his throat, and took charge. "Yeah, come in Dr. Cullen."

Carlisle entered and closed the door behind him. "How can I help you?"

Jasper replied slowly, as if trying to fit the proper words to his idea. "Well Dr. Cullen, you've been…" Jasper trailed off. "You've been like a father to us these past few years, and you've always told us to come to you whenever we had a problem."

Rosalie interrupted him, ever impatient. "You want to know how Bella got hurt, so we're going tell you."

Carlisle's face turned professional in an instant. "Is this something I can write down in my medical report?"

His question was aimed at me, and although I appreciated the help of Rose and Jasper, I knew I had to be the one to answer. Even though it just about killed me, I answered. "Yes Dr. Cullen, you should write it down."

Carlisle nodded and excused himself. Jasper's eyes bored into mine; "It's not too late to turn back." His eyes told me that he'd understand, and that's he'd be okay, but I'd waited long enough.

"I have to do this, Jazz. I've waited too long."

Jasper nodded in understanding, and squeezed my hand again. Before I knew it, Carlisle was back.

"Okay Bella, can you tell me what happened to you?

I opened my mouth and froze. _You tell anyone, and your precious Rose will pay for it._ The words flew through my head, and I recognized concern on Carlisle's face. "Why don't we take this a little at a time, aright?"

I nodded, still scared.

"We'll play a game—20 questions! Sound good?" Carlisle's voice was that of a concerned kindergarten teacher speaking to an upset student. "I assume you know the rules?"

Again, I nodded the scared weak nod that I was beginning to detest. "Did you actually fall down the stairs?" I shook my head.

"Good, you're doing just fine. Now, did someone hurt you?" I closed my eyes and nodded.

"Has this person hurt you before?" another weak nod.

"Is it someone you're close to?" again, I nodded. "Does it have anything to do with the fight between you and Edward?"

I found my voice, and answered quietly. "Yes."

Carlisle nodded, "Okay… Bella be honest with me on this one, the game only helps if you're honest." I nodded. Carlisle smiled weakly, "Okay, Bella. Did-" he paused. "Did Edward do this to you?"

"What? No! No. he would never—he would never hurt me like that. No." I knew I sounded stupid, but I was shocked at the idea of Edward ever laying a harmful hand on me.

Carlisle's smile was a bit easier now. "Just being sure, you never know!" We both knew he didn't really think Edward would hurt me, his question was asked out of fear, and not speculation.

"Is the person who hurt you in this room?"

I was shocked at the insinuation that Jasper was capable of this and quickly informed Carlisle that Jasper would never hurt me.

Carlisle sat down in the chair across the room and put his head in his hands. He looked up at me, his hands still massaging his temples. "Bella, did your father do this?"

I could feel myself shake as I whispered my answer. "Yes."


	14. Chapter 14

Dear readers:

Unlike most authors, I would really LIKE to have some Flame reviews so i can tell what Im doing well and what I'm doing poorly. I hate people who hold back chapters for reviews, but I'm holding back this chapter for a flame. for those of you who dont know, a flame is a really bad, extremely rude review telling the horrid parts of this story. also, I would like to know if while reading this story, it is obvious that english is not my first language.... just out of curiosity.

much love,

EIMHB


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